I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
Waking and baking in my bathtub. In a giant sweater. And no pants. This is going to be the best 420 ever.
you had acid sex with the barista. why is my bucket list your tuesday?
There was a half eaten cheeseburger on my coffee table. Guess I made it to McDonald's.
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
His nipple licking is glorious
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