She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
Talking her gay man friend into dancing with me officially makes me the world's best wingman. ever.
Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
Hey we need to step our game up. Dad has us beat; he stole a vending machine once.
Bathtub guy came to. He helped me roll the fat chick away from the fridge. Shower and breakfast are on. You're plan failed!
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
My night ended with a French cab driver offering me his sperm free of cost.
Apparently we stole a dog last night. I woke up and it was just staring at me. But we fed it left over KFC for breakfast so it's cool.
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
My son's girlfriend just thanked me for having good penis genes.
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
Randomize
