have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
high people should be assigned attendants
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
I been sleeping but occasionally wake up feeling like tiny elves are in my throat ripping my esophagus to shreds with their bare hands.
Somehow, you made that sound extremely magical and not at all painful.
I just want to let it be known that I almost put my phone in the fridge.
Grindr hookup awareness: always make sure that you agree to blow one person and they aren't bringing a Friend/boyfriend. Shits weird when you're sober.
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
You yell at me for giving you beer but not for licking spilled beer off your chest.
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
Randomize
