Lady came into work yesterday. Full on stache and beard. I've never concentrated on making eye contact harder in my life.
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
Nothing says I have a hang over like telling your boss to "eat your shit"
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
Gonna bang his former student. Clearly I am winning this breakup.
I bought an american flag today and by god im gonna fuck someone on it
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
HOW DID ALL OF US MISS THE OBVIOUS: I'LL SHAKE YOUR SPEARE
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
I just hit 3 trees and a golf cart.. all on the same hole
Put me down for a bogey
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