so i woke up this morning thinking _____ was in bed with me. . .but it was only a half eaten sonic burger
also, i may or may not be wearing a cape right now. hint: i am.
Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
for the record, graham crackers won't get the taste of cock out of your mouth. also we're out of graham crackers
To the genius that put everclear in my humidifier: your time is coming.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
