ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
i just checked to make sure valentines day this year was on a weekend assuming ill want to be drunk all day
hearing about your life makes me feel so good about mine
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
last time I sleep in the lobby. woke up to some girl asking me what floor I lived on. somebody put me, couch included, on the elevator.
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
I want you
Nvm, now I want someone who replies to my booty-call texts faster
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