I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."
no. you can't hotbox the world.
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
The cop only confirmed I'm .22% Irish. Then I threw up on him.
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
My roomate asked me why she found condoms in the pringles container. I don't know what to tell her
it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
All she kept whispering was put your pickle in my mouth. Then she fell out of her barstool and chipped her tooth
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
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