I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
I woke up with my bra stapled to the ceiling, her dad was in the hallway winking at me. I was the less drunk of the bunch.
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
He just asked for the blowjob I promised him 3 years ago that he'd get the next time Michigan beat Ohio State. Goddamnit.
I have so many hands. So. Many. Hands. I can feel arms that I don't have yet. They tickle. I can see the blood in my eyes. I think something is happening. The hands!!! I'm ticking myself with hands I don't have yet! I can't stop giggling about my notyet hands!
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
i want to go make food but i'll have to face my mom after telling her that the random i'm sleeping with, whose name i don't know, told me I was "too slutty to be his girlfriend" when i was drunk last night
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
Just had a reminder come up that just said "Ham"
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
Randomize
