this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
I've slept with so many tools that you'd think my pussy was Home Depot.
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
His pick up line was "your one sexy pumpkin, I'd love to carve." Why would you let me go home with him?
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
I've been eating like all day, let me suffer my one 'Dear lord, I'm the size of a small whale. One that doesn't even need to find being killed by illegal whaling because I'm not even big enough to provide an decent blubber, but still big enough to be considered for a brief moment.' moment in peace.
don't judge my taste in strippers
I just chased my birth control with Smirnoff. Shit's about to go down.
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
Bahahaha I just turned on the fan in front of the elliptical to avoid puking//try to get some baywatch hair going and the guy next to me thanked me because he was "getting nauseas from the smell of stale sweat and tequila"
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