walking home from your place the other day I saw a man with a ponytail sitting on some church steps petting a plant
he should get drunk with us
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
I'm gonna put my relationship status as "widowed" to see if it helps me get some poon.
He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
Definitely a Xanax and Jell-O shots kinda day...except my Jell-O shots are really just a big bowl of a Jell-O shot that I use a spoon to eat.
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
Does he know you were at a strip club taking shots of tequila right before you babysat his son?
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
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