Holy cold harsh reality of sobriety batman
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
I've decided to become a librarian so I can drunkenly quote The Mummy and have it be legit.
three of my fingers are bleeding and the only thing on my phone rn is a google search of 'Allison Janney'
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
Omg. I checked my purse this morning and I'm pretty sure drunk me stole a frat guys tube of crest 3d white toothpaste. Like that's pretty fucked up but I think if I knew someone did that to me I'd probably still invite them over again cuz I'd be like, "this girl's creative, and has good hygiene."
Randomize
