Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
The jerky fairy visited my fridge. It's glorious.
Her fucking playlist had randy newman on it. It was like woody was watching the whole time.
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
A particularly funny moment you may have missed; you walked in to the basement to announce that whoever was cooking sausages had left them on the grill for Hella long, only to be told that you were in fact the person grilling. At which point you just said, "the sausages are done" and walked out
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
His phone started ringing when we were pulled over and he said 'hold on, this is most likely more important than you', proceeded to answer it and agree to work sunday, then hung up, looked at the cop and told him to continue.
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
Randomize
