what kind of morning-after breakfast implies 'thanks for the sex, but i'm not gonna call you ever again'?
Wait wait wait. I remember riding in her car to the next bar. On your lap. With my head on the dashboard. That probably should have been my cut off point.
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
Drunk me thought he was hot enough to overlook the fact that he had poison ivy and still have sex with him. Sober me wants to know if you have any calamine lotion.
He knew exactly who I'd slept with after just one look at my crotch. He's like the Sherlock Holmes of cocks.
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
In the middle of me riding him, he stopped me and said "You're the kind of person who would be restrained for being obnoxiously drunk on an airplane, huh?"
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
My genitals don't want beer. They want to not feel like they wandered into a hornet's nest.
My mind's like "He's a sexist pig" but my uterus is like "YOU SHALL BEAR HIM STRONG CHILDREN"
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
Got my client divorced finally. He was even awarded the cat ashes. Yep I went to law school for this.
Randomize
