If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
The words "my birth control fell out" should never be spoken
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
im calling her cock vulture from now on
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
Pretty sure I just noped a member of the Canadian women's hockey team on Tinder.
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
Welcome to my Tuesday when my lesbian ex girlfriend shows up unexpectedly and gets me drunk and then leaves
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
Randomize
