I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
You suck. You're fired. I need to find a less reasonable voice-of-reason.
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
I feel like I'm in an ocean of eels jacking me off
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
When we left, you were on your third beer. When we came back to grab you, you had a pint glass half full of whiskey and had convinced the band to give you a microphone.
I'm drunk still and I cried and now I'm watching Whitney Houston singing the national anthem and I'm crying more
I just remembered that the guy I slept with last night has "USDA PRIME" tattooed on his ass
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
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