We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
Also, I might need your help for a prank involving a hand puppet, a coke bottle, double-sided tape, and my dick...
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
The only way I'll cross anything off my to do list today is if I write 'eat melted cheese' on it
What's the best day of the week to potentially find out you're pregnant with your ex's baby?
A guy from tinder a while ago who sent me dick pics straight out the gate is a tech on my dad's hospital floor. I was wondering why he looked familiar and why he never took my dads vitals when I was in the room
I just put on my bra while peeing. I fear this will be my big achievement of the day.
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
Randomize
