Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
found a ham sandwich in the elevator it tasted so hungry and it was still fresh. dont be mad at me. you know you love ham.
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
Just wrestled a cop. He won my shorts. I won my freedom. In fishnets and army boots. still headed to the party. would appreciate pants, but not necessary.
No no no no no no.... That's my emergency bottle for when I realize I've hit rock bottom
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
I sang him a lovely rendition of 'So Long and Thanks For All the Fish", but replaced fish with dick.
I spent the last 6 months operating under the assumption that I HADNT fucked a paramedic. I was wrong.
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
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