We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
yeah, and then after the convo was clearly over, my dad decides to scream "SIZE MATTERS" just to make things even more uncomfortable.
I just can't bring boyfriends home.
I think the waitress doesn't beleive I have friends coming. I've had 4 drinks and a large salad just waiting for you guys.
george bush was a better president for first pitches than barack obama. there. i said it.
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
Standing in front of the open refrigerator with a 3/4 empty bottle of wine eating Bac-o's from the jar, topless. Somebody really should've taught me better coping skills.
you had me at cake vodka
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
Randomize
