She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
The bouncer said he wanted to but BBQ sauce on my legs. That Mystic tan has already paid for itself.
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
Leaving the phone at home last night was the best decision I ever made.... Though I still managed to text her and now I have 2 phones...
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
Professor just informed us that she can't come to class today because her daughter broke her glasses and she can not see where she is going. Am I still drunk from this weekend?
He taped a champagne bottle to both his hands and called himself edward champagne hands. At one point he poured some on his lap and said " Just needed to make sure my dick got some too"
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
Randomize
