just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
You proceeded to call me a hoe and then informed me that Bear Grylls is and always will be more important than I am to you.
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
Yeah but then he looked at me bleeding on the floor, said oh i guess you need to go to the hospital now, and left
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
I won't apologize to a one balled man
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
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