the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
I don't care if I just threw up. You kiss me now. This is marriage.
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
Rumble strips road head = magical
I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
Note to self don't give these guys your number. I've seen more dick tonight than a proctologist sees his whole career
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
So, my eyeglasses somehow ended up in my nightstand drawer and they're covered in lube.
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
Randomize
