he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
Just got a blowjob on the pier where my great-grandfather entered America.
He tells me he loves me and I say I just want him for sex, then he looks at me like I just said I hate puppies. What kind of guy is he?
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
oh god I've lost the ability to distinguish between 'star trek' and 'the future'
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
In other news, I woke up still drunk and I think I literally just broke the Guinness book of world records for most bloody Mary's in one day...
We left Waffle House and he took off running five miles down the road saying we were "training for the Olympics." And I mean, I couldn't leave him out there like that...
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