Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
A freshman just referred to Home Improvement as 'tim the tool man show'. People born after 1990 are not people.
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
Today might be the day that I legitimately throw up in my saxophone.
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
My mother is currently smoking weed with a dying bee so his last moments aren't miserable. And she wonders why I rescued a grasshopper missing a leg.
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
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