I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
He specifically said I couldn't post the picture of him passed out naked except for a strategically placed washcloth. Where's the fun in that?
YOU'RE MARRIED. TO OTHER PEOPLE.
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
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