then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
I tripped over a vacuum cleaner and fell into a beer pyramid
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
Hooked up with a guy resembling a bearded Cher. I need the lenses on my beer goggles fixed. Pronto.
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
But Keith is doing MDMA for New Years and he's 39.
Keith has a beautiful 20 year old girlfriend, a good job and a cute puppy. We can't all be Keith.
But I want to be Keith.
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
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