Driving out to Plano is like driving away from your twenties
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
His fuck buddy just got fake tits and wants him to 'come break them in.' I need his life.
I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
I don't even care that it's before church. I feel like God actually wants me to have this shower beer.
Just got drunk at the Cheesecake Factory again. Made me think of you.
That's the nicest thing anyone's ever said to me.
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
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