Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
What are these yellow papers in the kitchen?
These are the tickets we got last night.
Did i sign this one as Grizzly Bear?
Yes...yes you did.
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
I HAVE stop dating guys for their prescriptions, you have no idea how awkward family dinner was. Thank god for his xanax.
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
Note to self: make sure the door is locked before the handcuffs go on.
His nipple licking is glorious
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