I figured girls wouldn't be down to sleep w/ a guy who plugged a pregnant chick
I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
It's okay, I found my phone in the toaster oven. Logical explanation: 5 martinis
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
My family will be here in an hour and I'm deciding between doing my makeup or saying fuck it and wearing what's left of last night's...
You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
Every morning should start with 2 orgasms and a shoulder massage
Randomize
