Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
Some dude at the gas station right now is buying a 30 rack of beast and a can of cat food. Happy Thanksgiving.
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
You spent an hour sitting naked in your neighbor's Jeep Wrangler yelling in a terrible British accent about how you were "on a safari". Then you passed out on your lawn.
you ass-dialed me while you were fucking my ex.
that was on purpose.
you woke me up at 1am last night high on cough syrup to tell me jay z was an idiot for cheating on beyonce
Randomize
