I failed the drunk obstacle course of trying to find my bed... consolation prize... a sore ankle and "disappointed' parents.
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
I think I may have appendicitis, but the house is like two blocks from the hospital so I'm just gonna go and drink anyway.
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
nothing says "functioning mature adult" like sneaking beer out of your mom's fridge in a lunchbox
So I hooked up with a guy with a mustache and woke up on a dragon futon underneath a dragon yin-tang tapestry... My life is spiraling in a weird way.
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
The cat was building a spaceship out of the carpet, my legs were cans of tomato sauce, and there was something else in that pot you gave me.
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
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