My pussy is not your playground.
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
I'm so high I used the top vent on my dashboard to heat up a cheeseburger
Wearing the BK Crown on the throne while dropping the kids off at the pool? Yes, one of my life's goals. Win
btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
She is a social worker. An actual good person trying to save the world. I feel like every time I give her an orgasm God wipes a little smudge off of my shit list.
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
Girl behind me in line at CVS was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan B soon she might be a mom and that if we couldn't tell she'd be a horrible mom
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Trying to figure out these fractions. I bought 5 fifths of gin last week. Does that mean I have one whole gin? 5/5 = 1, right? You're having to homeschool your kids right now--so ask them.
Randomize
