We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
I didn't know he had a girlfriend until after we had sex when he said, "Man I really gotta stop cheating on my girlfriend."
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
it's the amount of time you spend on preventing me from puking that really cements this friendship
He's tying my arms above my head and all I can think is that I should've shaved my armpits
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
Randomize
