Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
So I craigslisted sugar daddies and I'm pretty sure I found us one if you can pretend to be asian.
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
Growing a beard is gonna make smoking a pipe look so much more majestic
Just caught myself trying to make grilled cheese with the stove off. I think my dad knows I'm high.
My general physician told me i have the emotional capacity of a 2 year old, While he refilled my xanax prescription. That's service!
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
Randomize
