I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
and the officer said have you been drinking
and i said NOO SIR.
and he said, I am a woman.
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
You sprayed lemon pledge on your crotch because it was "dusty"
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
He considered it romantic when he told me mid-blow job that no matter what happens, he will "never forget how good of a dick I suck". Verbatim.
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
Apparently I'm not allowed to call at 3am anymore and ask to speak to all his siblings. I was just trying to get to know the family
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
I just brought her a lipstick taser. So just remember that the next time you get smart with her
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
So apparently I fell asleep sitting on the toilet last night while my drunk girlfriend sang to me.
Randomize
