im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
What's wrong?
Long week. Sore muscles. Bad back. Hangover. Mini-keg. Crazy ex-wife. Unavailable love-interest. Dead celebrity families. Republicans.
Pussy.
Women are like Alzheimers patiens. You can compliment them a million times in a day, but the next day is always a wash, you have to start all over.
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
I used a jello pudding cup as a shot chaser last night. I'm the Bill Cosby of alcoholics
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
I punched the bar tender after he cut me off. Hopped over the bar and made my own drink. That's how I got tazed
Just because you haven’t had your UTI yet doesn’t mean you have a right to talk like Yoda
Randomize
