He wants to be 'in an open relationship'. Fuck that. That's the online equivalent of letting him pee in a circle around me.
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
I found her in the bathroom licking her screwdriver off the floor. she said there was no way she was wasting a $6 drink.
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
Mike's my new hero. There's a flagpole of hook-up's bras on his porch and a week's supply of beer in his fridge but he still has a great job.
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
Randomize
