How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
Every time I find out someone else from high school got pregnant accidentally, I want to declare victory over them.
I just made what I can safely estimate to be a 900 calorie pb&j. Fuck a serving size.
either way he was missing a nipple.
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings...
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
About to be a 4Loko vomit fountain in 45 seconds, what color will it be? Animated birds will fly out of me.
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
Randomize
