11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
I feel like my vagina stays drunk longer than the rest of me. It's always super sensitive and hungry the day after drinking.
I wonder what my nutrition professor is going to think when I have to put 21 keystone lights, a bottle of merlot wine, and 5 rum and cokes and 4 shots of tequila on my dietary analysis
sometimes i feel like my only option in life is to be drunk or be a cat. today i am drunk
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
If your mother gets up on the bar again, I will. The bouncer already had a talk with her earlier.
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
That's good to know, because I will be doing terrible things to you. Terrible things, John, wicked, evil, maniacal things shall happen to you and I will have the audacity to call it sex
STILL COMPLETELY OKAY WITH THIS
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
Randomize
