I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
I've gotten 23 condolence texts about Germany's defeat. I got 3 for our break-up. That's how much my friends don't like you.
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
You won’t make it to November. A 21st bday and Halloween in the same night has shitshow/ jail written all over it. So I call dibs on that tall guy
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
You know you're hung-over when you're smoking and have the strong urge to eat the cigarette. No more buckets of gin. No. More. Ever.
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
If my neighbors have super loud sex again tonight, I'm going to leave a ball-gag and roll of duct tape in their mail slot.
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
Randomize
