Tell me I did not drive one hour for whiskey dick.
I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
When you sober up and come in here, I'm in your bed because you pissed on me in mine. So fuck. Off.
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
You were sitting in a chair and you said "I just feel like a little fishy, floooooating through the ocean, so pretty"
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
I'm a terrible person when I drink. I went from fine to not making any sense and yelling about cheese in like 30 seconds.
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
Randomize
