You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
She bit me. She gave me a brief pity cuddle. I gave her an awkward backrub, somehow I thought it would be a good idea to include the vagina in that. It wasn't.
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
The struggles of a small town man whore
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
Randomize
