lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
she said she wouldn't go home with me until she looked up my name in her sex offender app. do i really give off that vibe?
Yeah. It's not just the beard either.
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
Just fucked up my mustache shaving, gonna have to take it off because now it makes me look like a pedophile
FYI your old mustache made you look like a pedophile
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Randomize
