After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
im using old socks as coasters. im going to make a great housewife.
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
we found you under the sink... we opened up the doors and you told us to go away because you were playing indian in the cupboard
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
The drag queen you used to date and the girl you brought over last night are discussing your sex noises in my living room. I'm changing my locks.
Randomize
