it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
is wine microwaveable?
well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
After much deliberatipn and vodka, my favourite phrase of Christmas 2012 is "penis of last resort"
I don't know if I want context or not...
Context involves faux incest and champagne. Id go into detail but im on shot number 5.
Just letting everyone know that I am still alive after last night. On a related note, this is the 15th "I'm not dead!" mass text I've sent. You've got to celebrate the little things.
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
Randomize
