the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
one of the cashiers from Kroger is eating at my kitchen table and nobody knows why.
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
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