Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
She was sitting there stuffing her face rubbing my back with a dorito cheese filled hand while eating something else with the other hand as I was crying.
I was just about to send a concerned text until I opened my door and saw a shopping cart. I'm glad you made it home in one piece and with toys.
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
Watching the dude who probably knocked me up be all cute with his girlfriend on my couch. I am too nice, and I hate today.
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
I'm in a corner eating carrots and drinking champagne. I've hit a new kind of low.
How is that low? I love carrots.
I punched the bar tender after he cut me off. Hopped over the bar and made my own drink. That's how I got tazed
I met my future wife last night. She's a bombshell from Delaware, hates Trump, and humiliated two old men in a GOP healthcare debate while simultaneously convincing them to pick up both of our bar tabs.
Randomize
