The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
I'm in Target and the lady in front of me is buying three Summer's Eve douches, a box of fishsticks and a giant bottle of vodka. The sad thing is I get it.
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
If I can't pick up a cat lady, I probably need to turn to Internet dating.
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
Can u pick me up? Lost my keys.
Sure. FYI- you "lost" them on the roof, trying to throw them over the house.
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
Randomize
