So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
You kept making up "snapple facts" every time you opened a beer.
I went to the gas station and the lady goes I remember you. Broken sunglasses and puke on your car.
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
I can't believe you tried to cock block me from A DIFFERENT TIME ZONE.
I just got baptized.
Drunkenly skinny dipping in a indoor hotel pool is not okay and does not count as a baptism.
Randomize
