yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
using my metrocard to split lines. it says optimism on the back. i am optimistic that you will appear at my door and help me finish all these drugs.
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
what kind of dress can i wear to my high school reunion that says "even though i'm more successful than all of you i'm still up for sex"?
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
You were Q-tipping mashed potatoes out of your ear.
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
If you think you're having a bad day, know that upon waking up, I was informed that I blew my nose in a piece of bread last night
Randomize
