Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
He came in the heat vent in my car. Don't ask how it happened.
why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
my mind is a poorly written porno when i'm drunk.
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
I mean honestly, I love naps like Anthony Weiner loves sending dick pics
WHY WERE YOU COOKING NAKED?
WHY WERE YOU SLEEPING ON MY COUCH?
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
He spent three years trying to get a chance with me and finally broke me down. then he came in two minutes and was so upset he locked himself in the bathroom so I helped myself to his weed and left. Wanna get stoned?
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
Randomize
