He is such a slut. More and more my type.
The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
i told him my stretch marks were scars from a jellyfish sting........he totally bought it
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
you kept saying "i will not *breathe* regret this *breathe* in the morning *breathe* i just gotta remember *breathe* to BREATHE"
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
I remember us getting kicked out of the bar, but neither of us know why. We woke up next to chicken bones on a plate with spoons, and my car has mud all over it including places where feet shouldn't be, like the speakers on the car door.
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
Well I can cross 'get my dick slathered in coconut oil while watching the bob's burgers porn parody' off my bucket list.
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
Just set the kids up with doughnuts downstairs so I could go up and masturbate uninterrupted. I am such a good mom.
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
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